


Caffeine or Electrolytes

by kueble



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Getting Together, M/M, kind of, meet ugly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27138076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kueble/pseuds/kueble
Summary: Jaskier wakes up in an unfamiliar bed, not quite sure of what he got up to the night before.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 16
Kudos: 200





	Caffeine or Electrolytes

Jaskier wakes up, blinking slowly as he runs a hand through his messy hair. He immediately sits up, noticing he is very much _not_ in his own bed. Glancing down, he sees he’s wearing his boxer briefs and a baggy gray henley that definitely does not belong to him. He’s alone in the bed and certainly doesn’t feel like he’s been dicked down, but anything is possible based on the way his stomach is rolling right now. He’s about to jump out of bed and look for the rest of his clothes when the most gorgeous man he’s ever laid eyes on walks into the room and smiles warmly at him. He’s wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants that are riding sinfully low on his hips.

“Caffeine or electrolytes?” he asks, laughing when Jaskier just blinks at him.

“Pardon?” Jaskier asks, sincerely hoping they fucked last night, because this is definitely the hot guy he’s been eyeing up at the bar he plays in for weeks now.

“Coffee or Gatorade,” hot guy - Geralt! His name is Geralt - asks with a smirk. Jaskier realizes he’s carrying two steaming cups and has a bottle of Gatorade tucked under his arm. He thinks for a moment, checking in on his stomach again, and then replies,

“Coffee please.” He takes the mug he’s handed and waits in silence as Geralt sets the bottle on the bed next to him and climbs into bed with his own coffee. He smirks at Jaskier again and raises an eyebrow at him.

“You have absolutely no idea what’s going on, do you?” Geralt asks, laughing softly.

“No fucking clue,” Jaskier says regrettably. “As much as my heart hopes we has sex last night, my body is saying we did not.”

“Sorry,” Geralt tells him with a chuckle, “You’re gorgeous, but I tend to not take advantage of people who puke on their shoes on the walk home.”

“Oh god,” Jaskier says, groaning as he rubs his face. “That bad?”

“They’re in the hallway right now, because as well behaved as my dog, Roach is, she will definitely eat your vomit-covered sneakers,” Geralt says.

“And my shirt?” Jaskier asks, tugging at the borrowed henley.

“In my living room. You tried to strip, insisting you were completely fine,” Geralt tells him, laughing again. As embarrassing as this situation is, he seems to be taking it well. Jaskier may be able to pull a win out of this yet.

“In case I was too out of it to tell you my name last night - “ Jaskier starts before he’s cut off.

“You were _extremely_ adamant that I call you Jaskier, because Julian is too pretentious and only your gran is allowed to call you that.”

“Well at least I got the basics out of the way,” Jaskier says with a shrug. 

“And if you forgot, I’m Geralt. Geralt Rivia,” he says, holding out a hand for Jaskier to shake. The whole situation is quite ridiculous, as they’re both half naked and in his bed, but Jaskier shakes his hand anyway.

“Hold up!” he exclaims, “Rivia. As in Ciri Rivia? Oh fuck me…” he trails off as the night comes flashing back to him - at least parts of it.

“Was waiting for that,” Geralt chuckles. “And as much as I’d really really love to, we have some things to sort out first. What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Uh…” Jaskier thinks for a moment, “I was out with my very best friend, Ciri, celebrating her promotion. It’s possible we were over-served,” he winks before continuing, “We were at The Pit - where I play every weekend - and I remember getting super excited that the hot guy I’ve been ogling for weeks showed up. Then Ciri almost pissed herself laughing and it took forever for her to explain to me that Hot Guy was in fact _her father_ who had recently moved back into town and then much more alcohol was necessary.”

“So you don’t remember her waving me over and introducing us?” Geralt asks, corners of his lips turning up slightly. He sips his coffee and looks at Jaskier pointedly.

“Definitely not,” he admits. He takes another sip of his coffee and eyes Geralt over the rim of his mug. He’s every bit as gorgeous up close as he was watching Jaskier perform on stage. There’s something about the combination of silver hair and golden eyes that just tugs at him. Ciri is younger than Jaskier, and he certainly doesn’t look like he’s that much older than Jaskier, but can’t hurt to be sure. “So...Ciri’s dad? I mean, do they let you adopt that young?” he asks.

“Only 12 years older, actually,” Geralt tells him with a shrug. “I adopted her when my cousin and his wife passed away after a car crash. Had no clue what the fuck I was doing. 21 years old and adopting a pre-teen? Definitely got a crash course in parenting with that one,” he fades off into a laugh and smiles softly at Jaskier. 

His heart warms in his chest because Geralt was beautiful _and_ kind and there was only so much his fragile soul could take. Then it hits him all at once. This is his best friend’s dad. Her ridiculously attractive dad who appears to be into him, but her dad nonetheless. “Oh god, she’s going to kill me, isn’t she?” He takes a deep breath and searches the bedside table for his phone.

“Think you’ll be pleasantly surprised,” Geralt says, gesturing towards Jaskier’s phone. He swipes it open and finds his last text from Ciri:

 **Me:** Fukc yourr dad is sooooo hot.

 **Ciri:** If you tell me anything, absolutely ANYTHING sexual at all, I will punch you in the throat and ruin your voice for at least a month.

 **Me:** Ciri, this is Geralt. He fell asleep. I’m taking care of him. Don’t worry.

 **Ciri:** If you hurt him, I will murder you. And you KNOW they will never find the body. I'll get uncle Lambert to help.

 **Me:** Noted.

“Huh,” Jaskier says. And yeah, his best friend is pretty cool, but he wasn’t sure she was _feel free to fuck my dad_ cool.

“She’s basically given us her blessing to date,” Geralt says, avoiding Jaskier’s eyes for the first time that morning. There’s a faint pinkness to his cheeks and Jaskier wants to look at him forever.

“Date?” he asks, playing dumb, because he is at heart a little shit.

“I mean, you already put it on my calendar,” Geralt says as he grabs his phone and hands it over. Jaskier looks at the screen and sees ‘Arcade with J’ on Saturday’s date. Arcade? What is he, a fucking teenager?

“The arcade…” he says weakly. Geralt just snorts at him and he tilts his head, waiting for an explanation.

“Yes, because you said - and I quote - _You’re so ripped. I bet you’re amazing at Ski-Ball! And hugs!_ ” Geralt deadpans with a shit-eating grin. Jaskier just laughs at his drunk past-self and shrugs.

“I mean, seems legit,” he says, smiling. “So Saturday is a go then?”

“Definitely. You’re not the only one who wasted time staring across the bar,” Geralt admits shyly. He’s adorable, and Jaskier doesn’t think - just darts forward and pecks him on the cheek. He goes red and it’s the cutest thing Jaskier has ever seen. He vows that no matter what he needs to do, he is going to keep this man. He is.

“How about you let me use your shower and I buy you breakfast as a thank you for taking such good care of me last night?” Jaskier asks, doing his best to look as adorable and undeniable as possible.

“Breakfast is keeping warm on the stove,” Geralt tells him as he slides off the bed. He turns and reaches a hand out to help him up. Jaskier downs the rest of his coffee in one gulp and lets Geralt tug him off the bed. He laces their fingers together and gestures towards the doorway.

“Even better, as I’m not quite ready to face the world yet,” he says with a nod. Geralt squeezes his hand and leads him out of the door, towards the smell of bacon and eggs. Jaskier makes a mental note to text Ciri later. Hopefully much, much later.

**Author's Note:**

> Come play with me on [Tumblr](https://kueble.tumblr.com/)


End file.
